*read artist comments first*
Choirs chanting
Doorbells ringing
The knocking and banging that happens everyday in my apartment.
All these things, triggers.
They make my heart race, my blood boil, my heart jumps into my throat.
They are terrifying, often for reasons that I cant remember at the moment.
They invoke my darkest fears, as it seems, a lot of things do
My heart cant stand to be inside of my chest.
It wants free, and in the moment, I don't care to stop it.
My pulse is racing, and it seems no matter how many time I inhale breath, my lungs are still suffocating.
My chest aches with the need for air, and my gulping breaths don't do anything to relive it.
My palms are sweating, my hands shaking.
My body is tight and my back hurts and longs to get free.
I want to hide. To hole up and never show my face in the light.
I want it too end, often by any means necessary.
I'd take my own life if I thought it would stop these feelings.
If I thought it would calm my body down.
But I have
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